Depending on how well you know me, you might know that I'm quite passionate about anthropology. I have a Bachelor's in anthropology. I completed one semester of grad school for anthropology. I've been to Greece to study bones. My bookshelf is overflowing with anthropology texts. But... I quit. Anthropology no more, well, not as a career goal. What am I doing with myself now? I'm going back to school. For nursing. With any luck, I can eventually become a CDE. Even if I don't make it that far, I think I will be happy in nursing.
Don't get me wrong. I still love anthropology. I do. I doubt I'll ever be able to shake it. Why do I want to leave it? It's complicated. I am actually good at writing papers and giving presentations. I love reading. Unfortunately, I don't think I can spend the rest of my life doing it. Papers, teaching college, conferences. Even if I found a job as a career academic, I don't think it would make me as happy as it used to.
I was hanging out in the grad lounge, waiting for my advising session when all of this hit me like a ton of bricks. I went into my advising session anyway, discussed research and classes to take, and walked out of there feeling numb. Suddenly I didn't care about any of it anymore.
I don't cry. When I get upset, I get physical. I get deadly quiet and unleash it when I'm alone. I cried the entire walk back to my car. Anthropology was all I wanted to do since I was a junior in high school. I had a degree in the subject, and suddenly I didn't care at all. What was I going to do? As suddenly as it had hit me I didn't care about anthropology, another idea hit me: nursing. Before I wanted to be an anthropologist, I wanted to be a doctor. I don't want to be a doctor anymore, but nursing is something I think I can do.
For people who know me casually, it seems like something I could do, caring for others. For people who know me pretty well, caring for others doesn't seem like something I'd do. I'm that misanthropic, caustically sarcastic bitch. For people who know me incredibly well, they know that caring for others is something that would fit me perfectly.
My realizations hit me really fast, but it's taken a LOT of thought to actually go through with this. Dropping out of grad school and re-enrolling in my alma mater as an undergraduate again... it's hard. I'm on waiting lists for the important pre-requisite classes (chemistry and anatomy/physiology). I can (hopefully) apply for nursing school in the fall, to begin nursing school in fall 2015. I'm not sure how in hell I can pay for any of this. I don't have a job. It's going to be a long road ahead, but I think I can do this. Wish me luck.