Somebody once wrote: Hell is the impossibility of reason. That's what this place feels like. Hell. I hate it, and it's only been an hour.
Okay, I took a slight liberty there. But I was at the endocrinologist's office today, and I couldn't help but draw the comparisons. The first step: Separate me from things I find comforting.
Okay, I took a slight liberty there. But I was at the endocrinologist's office today, and I couldn't help but draw the comparisons. The first step: Separate me from things I find comforting.
They took my pump and I feel naked. #endovisit
— Pancreassassin (@Pancreassassin) February 5, 2014
Of course, I did get it back, but it's the principle that is dirty. The left me sit to rot in boredom. Sure, I had a heap of textbooks that I could read, but they really wanted me to suffer like that? I did use the tools at my disposal to keep my mind sharp: text books and a feeble LTE connection. I needed to make sure those on the outside knew of my suffering.
I'm tired of waiting and I've only been in solitary confinement for 15 minutes. #endovisit
— Pancreassassin (@Pancreassassin) February 5, 2014
30 minutes in solitary. I think they're trying to break me. #endovisit
— Pancreassassin (@Pancreassassin) February 5, 2014
I was onto their trickery.
It's mental warfare. They want me to be so depraved of human contact that I will spill all my secrets. They can't break me! #endovisit
— Pancreassassin (@Pancreassassin) February 5, 2014
And then finally... it got worse. So much worse.
Been here long enough that the Muzak is repeating. #endovisit
— Pancreassassin (@Pancreassassin) February 5, 2014
This is an office run by sadists. They want me to be off of my mental game so I will spill my diabetes secrets. They want me to admit to eating four cookies on December 15th. D'oh! My mind is still mushy from the abuse.
All joking aside, it was a fairly typical appointment. I did have a long wait, but my doctor had a DKA in the hospital. For right now, all of my correction factors seem to be working well, except my overnight, which was changed. Aaaaaaand
I actually got a "good job" today. I... I will take that. #endovisit
— Pancreassassin (@Pancreassassin) February 5, 2014
This goes for blood sugars. I'm doing much, much better than I was doing at my last appointment. I have been neglecting my Synthroid lately, but I promise to get better on that. I just haven't developed a good system for remembering it every day. I had my blood drawn and I should get my results back next week. I think my A1C will be down from the whopping 8.9 it was in November.
All I could think while reading this was... "did you get your pump back"? I've had mine taken for (what seems like) ten minutes to download the data, but I'd start raising hell if I was without basal for an hour! I'm paranoid like that.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you've ever been on-hold with an insurance company or supplier (as I assume you must have been), repeating Muzak should be a familiar experience.
Good lord, the Muzak. Ha. They actually did have my pump for ten minutes. Usually it only takes three or so. I was just about to go ask about it when they brought it back. I was especially anxious as I came in with a BG of 196.
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