Poetry Tuesday

I'm not a poet, and I know it. It's slightly ironic because an old screen name of mine was i_write_poemz because in high school, I did write poems. And songs. My talents must have dried up with old age. I don't know. But here are some efforts:

Limericks:

We threw a great party for Matt,
So gathered together we sat.
When they cut the cake,
Inside was a snake,
But what do I bolus for that?!

Surely this must be a joke,
That waitress just brought me a Coke!
I found some solace
That I could just bolus
But oh what a fear it evoked!

Once when my BG was high,
I slowly started to cry.
I took a shot,
And surely I thought,
Today's not the day I will die.

In time to set out for a jog,
My head was filled up with fog.
I didn't know
My BG was low,
And I nearly tripped over my dog.

Insurance wanted to cash-in,
My test strips were carefully rationed.
One test a day
Is surely the way
To show folks you have no compassion.


Haiku:

Checking on the go
Suddenly a traffic light
Test strips everywhere

Snacking with my friends
Max bolus exceeded
Glorious pizza



That's all for now. I had to choose simple poetry forms that had easy-to-follow rules. I will also admit to using my fingers to count syllables.

Monday- Change the World: Battling Diabetes Misconceptions

The only way I feel I change the world in terms of diabetes is by combating the misconceptions and misinformation. I feel fairly informed on the subject. I've lived with type one since I was seven years old, and I've been thirsty for information on the subject for just as long. When you're reading about diabetes, it's impossible to avoid reading about all types, even if you're just looking for information on your own type.

It's a fact of diabetic life that T2's get the worst of this misinformation and public judgment. Poor diet leads to obesity which leads to diabetes. So, obviously, if you have diabetes, you have done something wrong. You're a glutton who can't put down the fork. If you eat right and exercise like you're supposed to, you can cure your diabetes. Obviously this is not the truth, but it is what most people unaffected by diabetes believe. 

So what do I do? I talk and type about diabetes, a lot. At first it was hard, because nobody ever wants to stand out from the crowd, nobody wants to be the cynic who ruins jokes with truth. Beyond that, people don't want to hear that there really isn't anything you can do to avoid diabetes, regardless of type. If you're doomed to develop insulin resistance, or if your body is just designed stupidly enough to attack itself... it's just going to happen. Sorry. But to know you can't avoid it, that you can't do anything, is terrifying.

 I believe that getting the truth out there is important for several reasons. First, we need to get rid of the diabetes blame game. Because of misconceptions by the general public, I get hit with the blame of eating too much sugar all the time. I know it's not the cause of my diabetes, but what about the T2's out there who hear this all the time? The T2's who believe it? I can't imagine how that feels. The second reason we need to spread information about diabetes is so the people who are eating well and exercising don't think they're protected from type 2 diabetes. We need to end the blame and end the shame. 

The thing that makes me the most vocal in terms of diabetes is when I hear of various ways to "cure" it. I'm sure you heard of these things: eat cinnamon, go raw, go vegan, eat super low carb, etc. That's cool and all, but unless you can turn around from your plate of cinnamon cucumbers and eat a cake without problems, it's not a cure. 

I could write a book about all the stupid things I've heard about this disease. Sometimes it feels pointless to keep talking about diabetes when nobody really cares. The part of me that pursues is the part that hopes that I can change the way one person feels about diabetes, or I can get one person to reconsider making a joke about Jimmy and his damn candy bars. It's the only way I can think to change anything about the world in regards to diabetes. 

Putting my Best (or worst) Foot Forward

I went to the podiatrist today for the first time in my life. I'm 24, and I've been having foot problems for a while now, at least since January. I've tried resting, icing, wrapping, and it helps in the short term, but the day I stop doing these things my pain returns. I went to my primary doctor again earlier this week for the pain. The last time I was in, Dr. Dumbass told me to come back if it kept hurting. It did, so I went back. Thankfully, I got to see my regular doctor instead of the idiot I got last time. Anyway, he wanted to send me to physical therapy for my foot to try strengthening muscles and gain support. I asked him how we can treat something if we don't know what, exactly, the problem is. So he referred me to a podiatrist.

Now, being a diabetic, I get a little nervous when I start thinking about my feet. Every time I'm in the endo's office, I get a clean bill of health on my feet. They look good; strong pulse, no nerve damage, etc. It doesn't stop my worry though. We've all heard about the foot problems associated with diabetes. I was nervous going in. To my surprise, he didn't mention my diabetes once. Woo!

I had my foot X-rayed while standing.

Everything is normal, except for my high arches. I was given some orthotic inserts to bake in the oven and shove into my shoes. Done and done. For now, I hate them, but hopefully they'll help. I hope my problem was something this simple and it resolves soon. 

5 Stages of Low Blood Sugar

We've all had that low experience, the one where something goes awry in your brain and you don't treat it quickly and move on with life. The one where things happen so fast and someone else has to get involved. That is the low that this post is about. I just had one of these lows today in the gym, and I am so thankful that my mother happened to be there today. I didn't quite grasp what was going on as it was happening. It hasn't happened like that for a while. It also happened to be my first training session, so I was letting the trainer push me. That's his job. Apparently I let him push me into ignoring my low signals. So, here I present the 5 stages of low blood sugar.

1. Suspicion. Am I low? Am I shaky because I just did a bunch of squats? Maybe I'm low. Give it a few minutes and we'll reevaluate.

2. Denial/ belligerence. No, I'm not low. I don't want glucose tabs. I don't need glucose tabs. No, I don't want juice. No, I won't drink the juice. Get it away from me. I don't want any damn juice!

3. Acceptance. I'm low. Oh man, I'm so low. I'm just going to sit down, put my head down here. Just give me a minute.

4. Black Hole. I drank the juice. I ate the crackers. What else is there? I need to eat more. Now. Everything in my belly. Now.

5. Rebound high. I shouldn't have had so much juice. Crap, now I have to take more insulin. God, I hope I don't overdo it.

I know everyone experiences lows, but this is often how it plays out for me.

...But the Door Handles are Evil

The boyfriend and I have been apartment hunting for the past few weeks. Our current apartment is nice, but very poorly managed. Plus the door knobs are evil. Evil? Yeah, they're the kind that extend out horizontally and then curl on the end. They grab anything passing by- especially pump tubes. The one day  I wasn't wearing my pump, I managed to get my belt loop caught on the stupid door knob. I wish I were kidding. I told my boyfriend very early into our lease that I was never going to live somewhere with those evil door knobs ever again.

With door knobs in mind, we went out hunting. There were a few places we wanted to check out in our area. The area is nice, and we don't want to leave it. On the first Saturday we were out we toured about 6 different properties, including one willing to rent a 2 bed, 2.5 bath town home for $850/month, and give us two free months' rent! (PS, around this area, that is red-flag waving, send in the cavalry suspicious.) At the last complex we checked out that day, the lady giving us our tour kept commenting that I looked really tired. "Awh, you've been doing this all day. You look exhausted, bless your heart." Yes, I looked so tired she needed to bless my heart. In the car I decided it might be a good idea to test my blood sugar, and it was somewhere south of 50. Oh. That's why I was so tired. Okay.

This past weekend we went out again, expanding our search circle to include a little extra geography. Lather, rinse, repeat. We saw some really beautiful homes and some that made our skin crawl. This day I kept telling myself to look alert, stay sharp, keep going. At the end of this day, my blood sugar was also south of 50. I'm lucky my boyfriend does all the driving, or I'd have been sitting in strange parking lots, chomping on glucose tabs.

We have our list down to two apartments now, and depending on the apartment, we will either move next month or the month after that. Let's hope I can keep my BG up while moving. Last time I dropped into the 30's and had to chug some Mountain Dew. 

...Right in the boob.

I'll stick a needle anywhere once. I'm getting pretty adventurous when it comes to these things. Recently I've stuck my arms consistently and I loved it. Last Sunday, I stuck my boob.

It actually wasn't a huge deal. I have plenty of space on my breasts to place infusion sites. I use the angled sets from Medtronic (Silhouettes). I insert them manually, so I am able to control to speed and angle of insertion. If I'm in new real estate, I can pull out if it doesn't feel right. When I put this one in, I didn't feel a thing. Nope. Not one.

When I was considering this spot, I compiled a few factors that determined exactly where on the breast it was going to go. It had to be somewhere my underwire wouldn't rub it. It had to be somewhere my backpack straps wouldn't interrupt. It had to be somewhere that I could take a non-pornographic photo of, because I share my entire D life with the internet. So, with all of this in mind, I showered and changed my set. After I put it in, I breathed a sigh of relief, and then promptly tweeted about my boob site.

So how was it? Not bad. Like I said, I didn't feel a thing with insertion. As far as absorption, I'd probably rank it with my butt flesh. That being said, I did have a cold this week so I know that messed with my numbers. I'll have to try it again before giving a definitive result on absorption. I didn't feel any of my infusions like I sometimes do with my thighs. It never itched as intensely as my thigh sites, either. It never rubbed on my clothes, and the tubing was always under my shirt, so I didn't catch it on any doorknobs for a few days. That was nice.

*edit* I've tried the boob site a few more times, and every time my absorption was fantastic. It leaves a little dot on my boob for a while, but it's worth it.

On a personal note, I don't think my boyfriend liked my boob site. I told him I'm going to do it again, and he just sighed. "Why there?" Heh.

I'm going to give it another go, on the other boob, before I draw any conclusions. I was not convinced of arm sites until my second try. Who knows, boobs could be my favorite place for sites!

If you're looking for another boob-site blog, C wrote about her experience with using her breasts here. 

Update on 2014 D-Goals

In January, I posted my 2014 diabetes goals on this blog. They were few and not too lofty. How am I doing?

Bring A1C below 8. Going in, my A1C was 8.9. It was checked again in February, and now it's at 8.3. That number includes December, the month of Christmas cookies. I believe I am on my way to doing better, but the next A1C is going to include my 2 weeks with a weird pump where my BG was consistently 200+. We'll see.

I'm getting better at counting my carbs, and being honest about them. I'll look things up on my phone when I'm out eating and not sure. The biggest barrier to accurate carb counting was my unwillingness to put large carb amounts into my pump. I'm not sure why. It would send my BG high, but I still just wanted to not have that many carbs in my pump. So in addition to actually eating fewer carbs, I'm more honest about the ones I do eat.

I'm changing my infusion sets more regularly. I used to not change them until my absorption was crap or my set hurt. Now the calendar in my kitchen is full of Lisa Frank stickers. I get a sticker each time I change my set. It helps me remember when I changed my set, and I'm more likely to change it on time. I think I've only gone more than three days once since January. I'm also trying new sites, like my arms. I thought I would hate using my arms, but once I tried it I fell in love. The absorption is awesome, and it leads to discussions about diabetes with strangers. Bonus!

I've been exercising without my pump. It's an adjustment to actually do anything without it. I check my BG after 30 minutes, and if I'm going too low, I pop a glucose tab or two. They're pretty low-calorie and they get the job done. But then I sprained my foot, and everything went to hell.

Still no CGM. I didn't bring it up at my appointment, but I might next time. I don't know why I'm hesitant to ask, but... yeah. I've got nothing. I know I have a long way to go to bring my BG in line, and I think this could help. I'd catch the highs before they're at WTF levels.

So that's where I am in terms of my D-goals. Hopefully I have a better update in a few months!